“Love Has No Color....No Race... Love Is Pure And Divine But Only A Little of Us Are Able To Preserve It's Purity... Sadly, In This Digital World, Purity Is Rare To Find In Human...”
― Muhammad Imran Hasan
Many people will consider an interracial marriage, but a few will follow through with it because of the assumptions that come with getting families involved. If you don’t try for it you’ll never know.
Ultimately YOU need to decide whether breaking barriers through marriage is worth it. You need a strong foundation or support system, weather that be from your perspective partner, friends or family. This support system needs to be a strong enough foundation for you that IF you are face resistance or risk losing everything you know that you have people or a partner to lean on for support.
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You need to identify what is really important to both of you. If you are compatible, you'll naturally be drawn to one another. You'll have a partner who has aspirations and goals similar to yours or at least a long-term plan and some compromise to allow you both room for growth and (of course) support to reach those goals.
Family should never deny marriage on the basis of culture, if it's regarding that persons lacking faith or characteristics (which are beyond refinement or change) then that is fine, but if it simply boils down to the persons race, linage or heritage then the problem lies with your family and not with the potential spouse. Thankfully, Imran and I never faced any difficulty when you came to telling our parents - it was a new experience for both families and I think we can agree that they were both happy and ready to meet one another.
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As a young Muslim who were never brought up in our motherlands (Libya or Pakistan) we both identify ourselves as British firstly, because ultimately that is all we've ever really known - with the exception of trips to the homelands during summer holidays. We take the positives from each of our cultures which are complimentary to Islam and leave the rest behind, rather than basing our entire being on traditions of the past.
Within marriage you quickly gain a new perspective on both cultures (yours and your spouses) the struggles and strengths of each culture. You will keep learning about each other, whether these revelations lie in the other persons traditions, travel, celebrations, dance, music etc. You really wouldn't believe that so many complexities and joys were present and imbedded. Ooh... and let’s not forget about the food- I feel spoilt and get the best of both worlds (not that I’m great with spices). But it’s always delicious too have something a little different to tickle the taste buds (my mother in laws cooking is the best, and my husband would say the same about my mother too).
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Engage your families. Believe it or not, once your families meet (hopefully sooner rather than later) they'll realise that are minute differences between you. The anxieties they had beforehand will soon disappear once they realise how similar you are to one another, especially when you have the bond of faith. It’s a really big reminder that faith should really be all that matters.
Naturally my father had his reservations before he met Imran. He invited him over for dinner (on his own) and as soon as he had that first meeting with him, all doubt disappeared. I have no regrets about the them meeting early on, it was healthy for all the family and my father became much more at ease with letting his first daughter (out of three) go. My mother is much more easy-going and had no real reservations and was happy to meet him very early on.
MY advice on meeting the parents: I would definitely recommend getting the families together (including the siblings) and SHOW your parents how well you all get along. Parents main concern is how their child will survive with their new family in a new home. If they can see you In that environment with those people then it definitely sets aside any niggling worries.
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Be prepared: everyone makes an interracial relationship into a far bigger deal than it actually is. Everyone expects a story of protest, and how you had to run away to be with your true love. It does happen in some cases, but the majority of the time it’s nothing too complicated – especially if both of you were born in the same country because you already have common ground and culture isn’t as dictatorial to your life. Of course, your parents will need to be persuaded, but you would need to do that with any marriage all parents will always believe that nobody will be quite good enough for their precious child which they have invested so much into. You parents (especially fathers) will need to be convinced that this potential spouse is good enough to look after you.
